Friday July 7...in the morning

Another wretched night..pain kept me awake.. and it was so difficult to find a position to lie in without causing pain. Up several times to hobble to the bathroom, and then trying to find a comfortable sleeping position when I had hobbled back.

Struggled out of bed at about 7.45am--Joan was already out on her run. Breakfast, Spelling Bee, Wordle. Hot-water-bottle against my back. Settling down to another boring day. At least there is Wimbledon.

Joan--encouraged by me--has set out on a VOD to explore what has been done to the Battersea Power Station, which has apparently been converted into a huge shopping mall. ( Later she sent me some photos snapped on her phone. It looked very impressive.)

Now, standing here at the computer is giving me leg pain. I must move my Mac from the counter in the kitchen to the little round dining table, where I can sit down to type.

I think I will try massaging with the spiky ball...

Done--but, of course, no miracle occurs: don't suppose I am going to get a miracle, but I can hope that slowly, slowly the sciatica disappears.

But my mood is verging on depression. It all goes back to the start of my relationship with Joan, when I worried and worried that the age difference between us would result in her having to look after me in my old age--perhaps crippled, perhaps with dementia. And it took quite a bit of worrying about this before I committed myself to the relationship.

And here we are. She, fit and well, running a few miles each day, and often adding a few more miles in walks. And I, staggering around with a painful back that keeps me in the apartment day in day out. Have my fears eventually come to pass? Or will I break out of this depressing situation?

3.30 pm...Joan returned at about 2.00 pm., and she is now sitting opposite me at her computer, writing a judgement for the EBRD Tribunal, incorporating the comments of the other two judges on her initial draft.

I did win my chess game against the computer. Usually I lose because I make some silly move that loses me a major piece.

This is all for today.